El instituto fue hacer la mili

Ahí tenías que pegarte con niños salvajes, ganabas respeto y tranquilidad. La tutora casi todo el curso de baja con sus crisis de ansiedad.

Fuimos casi todo repetidores en ese 3 de eso. Se hicieron barbaridades
Porque sabíamos que era nuestro último curso y no hubo expulsiones.

Un día vi que un compi había pisado una mierda. Al oír mis risas enseguida intentó limpiarse con la ropa de su compi de pupitre.

Bueno, había un borrador partido por la mitad debido a la prueba de consistencia que se le hizo ese curso a todos los borradores.

Consistía en arrojarlo contra la pizarra hasta que se partía. También se hacía eso con las tizas, yo he visto dos cajas de tizas de colores desintegrarse en menos de un minuto. Los picotazos en la pizarra impedían su uso en muchos puntos. Yo he visto lanzamientos de sillas y mesas de punta a punta de la clase, pero estamos con la mierda pisada.

Terminó untada como Nocilla en ese borrador partio. Y quedó bien disimulado pero olía a mierda fresca.

Llegó la maestra súper contenta. Nosotros más callados de lo normal aguantando la risa y que no se de cuenta. Entre clase y clase algunos compañeros garabateaban la pizarra.

La maestra debe borrarla, se acelera, sigue hablando y coge el borrador, se dispone a borrar pero, oh, el borrador se separa ella lo coge más fuerte y hasta en las uñ as tiene más mierda. No se entera se agacha a recoger el borrador, le da el olor, se huele la mano y antes de poder decir o hacer nada salta el tonto de la clase.

Uno de otra clase ha venido y ha puesto una mierda en el borrador


Bueno ahí las carcajadas resonaron en el resto de las aulas y la profe tuvo que coger toallitas y limpiarse un poco. En navidad nos trajo lenguas de gato la gilipollas.

Y en esa clase no hubo chicas, hubieron 3 pero se cambiaron. Eso nos permitía ser una piña y que no hubiese chivatos. Pasaron muchas cosas era normal tener por allí al guardia de seguridad o a maestros de otras aulas molestos porque el ruido de la nuestra impedía hacer nada.

Yo vi como se empapelaba la clase con mujeres desnudas cual taller mecánico. Y se permitió una semana. Yo he visto a un alumno amedrentar a un docente y he visto a casi todos mandarnos al patio a jugar al fútbol.

Yo me pegué con otro de mi clase porque vino a buscarme y vi a tres maestros echarse atrás porque no podían con nosotros. Ni parte de incidencias ni historias. Otro día más de curro para los maestros.

En tres ocasiones la clase bajó completa a dirección. Yo me libré de una porque estaba en el baño y alguien le dijo hijo de puta al maestro de ciencias y desde otro lado le llegaba una dura ycomprimida bola de papel Albal, que impactaba en su jeta.

Al de biología le desapareció una piedra de cuarzo. Apareció cuando ya todos fuimos amenazados con suspender la materia cuando hacíamos los exámenes con el libro abierto.

Otro día se lío por un bote de yogur líquido abierto de un año atrás, cerrado y oculto en una taquilla.

Lo abrimos y empezamos a derramarlo por el suelo. Bueno una peste impresionante a vómito. Sin quererlo pisamos ese fermento. Vino gente de todas partes del edificio preguntando quién era el de la bomba fétida.

Risas, nadie sabe nada de una bomba fétida pero imposible dar clase con todas las ventanas abiertas de par en par y un pestazo a mierda vomitiva.

Como ping pong club pero sin zoofilia vamos.

Al de informática las bolas de los ratones.

 VA - Dance Underground Movement (Peerless CDP-517) (1996).rar
formato flac.

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